I miss you. It’s been 442 days- and still, not a day passes that I don’t think about you. Some days, I honor you by remembering you through prayer or journaling. Other days, I share your story with others. Often, I reach out to Kevin. Sometimes, I bring flowers to your grave and sit and talk to you for an hour. It all still makes me cry like a baby.
I went on a trip to Kauai in May. Kevin told me that Kauai was a special place for you all. Your grandparents lived on the island until you were 12. And, in those years you would visit them at least once a year. I brought your ashes back to the island, to help you see this very special place once again.
There was something special about the island. Pura Vida was everywhere. You were everywhere. I saw you in everything and in everyone. There were a lot of blonde hair, blue-eyed kids in Kauai. But I never saw them. I saw you. It was painful. But, at the same time, it was incredibly beautiful. I’ve never experienced something so bittersweet in my life.
I’ve always wanted a daughter when I’m ready to have kids. But, after this trip, I’ve realized how badly I want one. When the day comes, I’m going to name her Anna. She’ll be named after the most warm, kind, and LOVING soul I have ever met.
I LOVE you, Anna. You may have been with me every day for 442 days, but you’re not going anywhere. So, brace yourself. Because, you’ll be with me until the day we meet again- in the Kingdom of Heaven.
All My LOVE,